Hela Half Rotted
by Atana
Summary: Hela Lokisdottir is kidnapped from Jotunheim and is forced by Allfather Odin to be queen of the dead.
1. Chapter 1

_**When I was in grade school, I became obsessed with Norse Mythology and Hela - the goddess of death - in particular. The old story of the unwanted and deformed daughter of the Trickster-God Loki resonated with my own sad young heart. When I was ten, I wrote a book about Hela and the other Norse gods and submitted it to Random House Publishers in New York. Needless to say, it was rejected and it hasn't seen the light of day since, but it occurred to me recently that the story still needed to be told. **_

_**So, here it be…..**_

**HELA HALF-ROTTED**

**By Atana**

**Chapter 1 – Abducted**

**It had been two months to that very day that twelve-year-old Hela Lokisdottir and her two brothers had been summoned before Allfather Odin for judgment.**

**Despite the conviction of those who illustrate comic books, Hela was not eight feet tall, nor was she five hundred pounds of solid muscle, nor was she a supernaturally-charged warrior in an elaborately decorated whip mistress outfit. In truth, she was small and slight in person, and some say her mother had been cursed while Hela had still been in her womb. For it was sure that Hela Lokisdottir had been born with a most shocking condition which would plague her for the rest of her long life. **

**She appeared to be a young human female who was half-dead and half-alive.**

**Hela's right side displayed the comeliness that came with being the handsome mischief-god Loki's child. Her vibrant coloring and black hair encouraged onlookers to believe that she was a pretty young girl, that is; until their eyes drifted to view her left side. **

**Starting at the midline of her forehead and running down her face and body Hela was a livid bluish-gray, the color of spoiled meat. Pewter-colored hair straggled from her scalp. Her muscles were wasted so that her left side was nearly skeletal in appearance. She walked with a pronounced limp as her left foot lacked the pads of fat and muscle necessary for efficient movement. Her locomotion was accompanied by the steady clack-clack of a black cane which was embellished with a pair of ravens. She became fatigued quickly and breathed with difficulty. However, as a resident of Jotunheim and the daughter of one of the valiant gods of Asgard, she had been raised to be tough and such infirmities did not defeat her. **

**Her two brothers had been raised with her in Jotunheim, the land of the giants. Her mother – Angurboda, the witch of the Iron-Wood – had done her best to shield her children from the all-seeing eye of Odin, king of the gods. After all, Loki the Trickster was married to the goddess Sigyn and not to her. **

**Her eldest son with Loki had been named Jormungand. He was a tall and slender shape-shifter with eerie green eyes who favored the form of a snake. Angurboda's middle child was Fenrir, a robust brown-haired boy who similarly favored transforming himself into a wolf. As Jotunheim was full of what ordinary humans (and indeed the gods of Asgard) would consider monsters, this sort of thing was not out of the ordinary.**

**Angurboda had gravely instructed her daughter that there was no one in the Nine Worlds like her; that she was born the way she was for a reason; and that she would bring great credit someday to the Jotun race. Hela had loved her mother and had believed her.**

**Things might have gone on this way indefinitely had it not been for this odd trio's father, Loki the Trickster. Blessed with a quick wit and good looks, Loki's character was flawed by a wide streak of envy flavored with outright malevolence. Time after time he had gotten his fellow gods and goddesses into scrapes that required a good deal of effort to rectify. In other words, he had an unfortunate way of calling unwanted attention to himself. When Allfather Odin's eye fell upon his children and their giantess mother, their fate became locked and bound forever.**

**Odin had fetched his sons Thor and Tyr to Jotunheim to kidnap the three. There had been the expected curses, spells, and scuffling designed to stop them, but the two burly gods had prevailed and had taken the struggling and shrieking children from the land of their birth. In an attempt to intimidate their captors, Jormungand and Fenrir had immediately changed into their snake and wolf forms in self-defense and had stayed that way. **

**Hela, on the other hand, hadn't needed shape-shifting to make the two big men recoil from her. They had looped a rope around her right wrist and had more or less dragged her along until her desultory shuffling became more annoying than what it was worth. At that point, she had been placed in the back of Thor's chariot and spent the journey crying out her sorrow into the sleeve of her dress. And thus had the children of Loki crossed the rainbow bridge Bifrost and entered Asgard, home of the Norse gods.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Judged**

**Despite her father's best attempts to hide her from prying eyes, the girl and her brothers soon found themselves in front of the throne of Odin. Flanking the king of the gods were his wife Frigga and other members of the Aesir – Thor, the thunder god; Tyr, the war god (who oddly enough had felt genuinely sorry for her); Baldur, the god of spring; and lastly Frey and Freyja, the god and goddess of beauty and all good things. Standing in the vast courtyard were the rest of the gods and goddesses of Asgard along with their retainers. **

**Loki pouted and skulked about directly behind his children, angry that Odin would kidnap and judge them and, by doing so, shame their father. In his dirty heart of hearts, Loki was sorry he begat them and even sorrier that such ugly things could be considered his.**

**Jormungand – still in his fearsome snake-shape and menacing the nearby Aesir with sharp fangs and red split tongue – had been told by Allfather Odin that if he chose to be a snake, he would be destined to live all his days as one. Odin had Thor toss the serpent into the sea, where he would grow and grow until he could place his tail in his mouth and hold Midgard – the land of humans - together. **

**Fenrir, similarly wolf-clad, became docile in the presence of the Aesir in an attempt to convince them that he meant no harm and was incapable of causing them trouble. Hela had seen the sly twinkle in his eyes and knew otherwise, but kept her counsel. Allfather Odin declared that if he remained obedient, Fenrir could stay in Asgard.**

**When it became Hela's turn, all eyes turned to her father. She had made her way over to him and now hid in the folds of his green cloak. The girl herself was swathed head-to-foot in a long gown with long sleeves, with a hooded cloak pulled over her head and half her face. Her father had obtained this outfit for her himself, telling his daughter that this would be for the best. It was shortly after she had received this gift of clothing that Hela had realized that her father was deeply ashamed of her.**

**Odin spoke. "Hela, daughter of Loki, they tell me that you are a most unusual monster. Let us take a look at you."**

**Hela clung more tightly to Loki. "Help me, Father!" she whispered. She wrapped her arms around his waist. His fingers held more tightly to the shoulder of her wasted side.**

"**Step forward, girl," Odin said. **

"**Allfather," Loki said, stepping forward. Hela, still clinging to him, stumbled a bit but her father steadied her. "Hela is ill. She does not like to be stared at – I'm sure she would be glad to answer your questions from here."**

"**Perhaps that would be best," Frigga suggested.**

"**No, Loki. Have her approach."**

**Loki grimaced, then peeled his daughter from him and made sure her cloak and cane were in place. "I am sorry, my child," he answered her, "but you must face the lord of the gods without me." He turned Hela in the direction of the throne and gave her shoulders a little push.**

_**Clack.**_

_**Clack.**_

_**Clack.**_

**Stung by her father's failure to protect her from the eyes of the Aesir, Hela made her way to the throne, head down and tears of panic and shame rolling down her face. **

**The father of the gods leaned forward in curiosity. "Please let us see you, child. We will not harm you. Or will the sight of you harm us?"**

**At this, the girl raised her head and swiped at her face with the hood of her cloak. She was afraid but she was not a coward and the remark had offended her. Closing her eyes and clenching her jaw, she tossed the hood back from her head and shoulders.**

**Predictably, there was a gasp of horror from the crowd. There were the expected murmurs that she was hideous, that she was the living embodiment of her father's many sins, and that she was a walking corpse who should be covered with graveyard dirt instead of offending the eyes of the gently-bred people who now stared at her. **

**Hela's skeletal left hand shook as it clutched the double-ravens head of her cane. "I am not a monster, Allfather Odin," she whispered. "I can't help the way I look." The girl glanced to her right, catching a look at beautiful Freyja's sneering face. "Please, I want to go home to my mother."**

"**I'm afraid that is not possible," the king of the gods replied. "The Norns themselves have declared that all three of you will grow up to menace the gods of Asgard; however, you may reside here with your father until I have decided your fate." **

**With that, he waved his broad hand and life as it was now began for the strange daughter of Loki the Trickster. **

"**Ug-ly."**

"**Ug-ly."**

"**Ug-ly," chanted the group of children as Hela Half-Rotted, covered in her long gown and cloak, made her way down one of Asgard's golden streets. **

**She ignored them as she usually did. It is an unfortunate universal rule that children can be the cruelest beings in the Nine Worlds, and the offspring of the Norse gods were no exception. Most Asgard youngsters tormented Hela; absolutely no one touched her. A rumor had already spread that if you touched her you would become half-dead like her – or maybe dead completely. **

**She was allowed to see her brother Fenrir only from a distance as Odin feared collusion between the pair. Her father had no time for her. Hela's young life was already blotched with grief over the loss of her brother Jormungand and mother; her loneliness and isolation made it well-nigh intolerable.**

**However, the tough little daughter of Loki doggedly made her slow and cautious way down the street. Tyr had built her a shoe with a thick sole so that she no longer needed her cane with the twin ravens head. Hela had given the cane to Allfather Odin, telling him that the birds were called Hugin and Munin, Thought and Memory. She still limped but it was not so bad. She was grateful for Tyr's kind gesture, though it troubled her that her own father had failed to do this for her. **

**The older gods generally gave her a wide berth. Freyja and Iduna and Nanna and some of the other beautiful residents of Asgard gossiped about her incessantly. Initially, Hela didn't understand their level of interest because she was only a child, but later figured out that the dislike these women bore for her father had blossomed into dislike of her as well. The adults had their little rumors as well; one of which that Hela was destined to be the death goddess and would be the ruination of them all. **

**Hela suspected that they also hated her because everything in Asgard was beautiful – except for her.**

**_Well, let them talk,_ Hela thought. _If I can just make it to the Hall of Valhalla I'll be happy enough._**

**Valhalla was the home of those warriors who had perished nobly in battle, and there was always plenty to eat and drink there. This was important as Loki often forgot to feed his daughter. The Valkyries – strapping and vigorous women who conveyed the dead to their final location – tolerated Hela's presence as the specter of death did not frighten them. Often, one of them would take the time to bring the thin child a cup of milk and a sweet. They also told her that there was another place where those who hadn't died in battle were taken, but did not elaborate on who their counterparts were in the land of Niflheim. Like most who lived in the land of the living, Hela knew little about the land of death and didn't care to familiarize herself with that cold and shadowy realm.**

**She barely felt the clod of dirt that flew from her right. Looking up in sudden anger, she saw Gunnar, a thick-middled and stupid boy displaying his yellow teeth in laughter.**

"**Got you, Death!" he sang. "Why don't you wave your skeleton hand and kill me?"**

"**Why doesn't the ground just swallow you up so you can rot in peace?" shouted Otkel, the son of one of Asgard's minor gods. He was instantly punched in the shoulder by Ullr, the thirteen-year-old son of Sif, goddess of the harvest, and stepson of Thor.**

"**If you don't like looking at her, then don't," he said in his authoritative tone. Ullr was a boy's boy; one who excelled at outdoor activities and any act of physical prowess young males considered manly and sporting. **

"**I can handle myself, thank you," Hela replied. She fancied Ullr but dared not show it.**

"**Don't talk to us, you stinking pile of bones," Gunnar retorted. He followed up his statement with an impression of the girl limping up the road. "You're not fit for the likes of us."**

"**As indeed she is not," a loud male voice said, causing them to jump. Gunnar felt someone grasp the neck of his shirt and haul him up until his toes barely brushed the ground. **

"**It's Loki," Otkel hissed. **

**Gunnar closed his eyes as the man shook him. "In Jotunheim my daughter was around people who spoke to one another with respect and kindness," the trickster god hissed, again shaking him like a rat. "Let me catch you bothering her again and I'll bother you right into the fire pits of Muspellheim. Away with you!" Loki dropped the boy and swatted him across the back of his head. "Leave now, or I will end the lot of you!"**

**The children scattered. **

**Hela looked up at her father and blinked. "Really, I could have handled it myself," she said, embarrassed by her father's intervention. "Mother taught me some rather effective spells."**

**Loki shook his head. "We can't have you turning Asgardians into frost giants," he said sternly. "Besides, Odin has blocked your and your brother's craftwork while you are here."**

**Hela Half-Rotted burned with shame. "I don't need you here, Father. I can take care of myself, please."**

"**Very well, miss," the trickster god sighed. "I am leaving. I will no longer embarrass you with my presence. It wouldn't have hurt you to thank me, I'll have you know. I will see you at home later." He turned and strode away, green cloak snapping in the breeze.**

**Hela raised her head and looked at two children who had made their way back. Ullr and Hnossa, Baldur's daughter, stood on the side of the road with solemn expressions on their beautiful faces. **

"**Come with us to the forest," Hnossa said. "There are new fish eggs in the pond and we want to look at them to see what happens."**

**Uneasy and distrustful, Hela said nothing. She dropped her head and made sure her hood covered the left side of her face. To the best of her knowledge, no child in Asgard had ever seen it and she wanted to keep it that way.**

"**It won't do you any harm to take a walk, now, would it?" Ullr stated. "We will help you get through the muddy parts." **

**Hela gave a single nod and both children approached her, each taking one of her arms gently in their own, mindful of her fragility. "There's a nest of ravens in the forest as well," Ullr told her.**

"**I love ravens," Hela whispered.**

"**Perhaps a raven will carry her to the sea and drop her in it on her ugly head," Gunnar growled to Otkel as the boys hid behind a nearby tree.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Unmasked**

**One day followed another, as they always do. Hela fared no better in the land of the gods. Her only friends were Hnossa and Ullr, who helped her feel like less of a monster. **

**She had even been invited into the home of Thor and Sif, Thruthvanger by name, where she sat nervously in the kitchen eating a roll with fresh butter. Mjolnir, Thor's legendary hammer, lay propped against the hearth like a whiskbroom. She eyed it with awe and suspicion. She wondered how many of her kin in Jotunheim it had killed.**

"**Your father once chopped off all my hair," Sif laughed during the course of their little conversation.**

"**I am sorry, Lady Sif, but there is nothing I can do about my father's bad behavior. Your hair is so beautiful; I can't imagine why he would have done such a thing," the girl replied.**

**The goddess of the harvest stopped and looked hard at Loki's odd daughter. She smiled. "Of course; forgive my rudeness. Ullr, fetch me my comb, won't you?"**

**Sandy-haired Ullr shrugged, got up, and left the room while Sif pulled up a stool next to Hela.**

"**Your hair is lovely too," Sif commented, reaching out and smoothing the brief peek of hair visible under the child's hood. Hela leaned into it, closing her eyes. People were so afraid of touching her that she relished every contact. **

"**No it isn't," the girl whispered. It was in fact a tangled rat's nest. Her father didn't own a comb suitable for a girl's long hair, so Hela had been more or less left to her own devices.**

**Ullr returned and handed his mother her bone comb. "Turn around, dear," Sif said. "Let's try some braids."**

**Hela obediently turned, catching Ullr's smile and holding it close to her sore heart. She asked Sif if it would be all right if the boy left the room while she took off her hood. Ullr had no wish to embarrass his friend and promptly stepped outside.**

**The girl removed her hood. Sif only blinked hard, which Hela did not see. The left side of the girl's head had quite a few thin patches and this sorry sight touched the woman's heart. She made a low side part on the right side of Hela's head and drew her thick black hair over the sparse parts, and then commenced to create braids on both sides.**

**After a few minutes of combing and plaiting, Sif was done. She took a flower from a bunch she had just picked and placed it behind the girl's ear as a finishing touch.**

"**Thank you, Lady Sif," Hela replied, patting the sides of her head with her hands; she had already wound her sleeve around her bony left hand so it wouldn't show. In doing so, she inadvertently jostled the blossom behind her ear and tried to catch it as it fell.**

"**Oh, I'm sorry!" she gasped.**

**Both looked at the flower as it fell on Hela's lap and lay there, shriveled and dead.**

**Hela had been so horrified that she had burst into tears and fled the house with Ullr on her heels. As time had gone by in Asgard over the last few weeks, Hela had been feeling changes in herself; changes that were as unwelcome as they were mysterious. Poor Sif wouldn't have said a thing, but her housemaid did, and news of the incident soon spread through Asgard like wildfire. **

**One evening, her father told her that Allfather Odin had consulted the Norns, or fates, about the incident. "They think you're destined to be the death goddess," Loki told Hela solemnly before their hearth.**

"**I think they are insane," the girl replied, her voice shaking. "Father, can you get me back home again? I hate it here so much."The mischief-god shook his head. "If I did sneak you out of here, they would just punish me and haul you back."**

"**I think you are just a coward," his daughter replied, and dropped her face in her bony hands. **

**It was another sunny day in Asgard, but Hela's depression and hopelessness kept her from enjoying it. Once again she walked alone. There had been another rumor around Asgard; one that said that her mother was dead, her heart shattered by grief over the loss of her children. Loki had told Hela it wasn't true but she didn't believe him. Lost in her listless shuffle, she did not hear Gunnar approach to her left. **

"**Hela, come with me! Ullr wants to see you in the forest. There is a flock of eider ducks on the pond and they've laid four clutches of eggs."**

**She looked at him. He was smiling and gesturing toward the woods with his beefy arm.**

"**It's been raining," Hela replied. "I'll just get stuck in the muck if I go close to the pond."**

"**Don't worry; Ullr and I will help you. Hurry!"**

**Fifteen minutes later the two children were deep in the woods; their progress had been slow because of Hela's labored breathing. She had also not wanted to spoil the special shoe Tyr had made by ruining it with fresh mud. **

"**Where is Ullr?" she said, standing still so that her breathing could slow itself.**

**Otkel stepped out from behind a copse of trees. "Ullr couldn't make it," he replied, grinning. **

**Realizing she had been tricked and then trapped, Hela tried her mightiest to cast an invisibility spell on herself. It didn't work, and Gunnar approached her with deliberation.**

"**What's under that cloak?" he asked her. "What are you hiding under there?"**

"**Stay away from me!" Hela cried, her anxiety mounting as both boys came toward her. They were too young for rape to be an object; the boys were curious about the extent of the girl's deformities and were bent on satisfying their curiosity. In any event, Hela's terror mounted and she turned and tried her best to run. **

**Within seconds she had been knocked to the forest floor as Gunnar rolled her over and began tearing at her cloak. She began to scream as Otkel slapped his grimy hand over her mouth; she promptly bit it and Otkel snatched his hand away, punching her in the face in anger.**

**Gunnar finally had her hood off and gazed at Hela's face.**

"**It's true," he breathed. "She's a monster. Otkel, just look!"**

**Hela squeezed her eyes shut as the boys' fingers laced through her hair held her head still. She felt their hot breath as they scrutinized her. "Is the rest of you just as ugly?" Gunnar said, pulling at the shoulder of her dress until it tore. **

**Hela's fear was white-hot; her eyes rolled back in her head. Vast stores of anger opened up in her brain. She freed one hand from under her and slammed it against Gunnar's pudgy face.**

**The boy gave a single shriek. Blood poured from his nose and mouth.**

**He fell onto her, dead.**

**At once Otkel began to scream, a high, keening wail that pierced through her own terror. Struggling mightily, Hela thrust the dead boy from her and scrambled to her feet.**

"**You killed him, you monster! You killed him! Murderer! Murderer!" Otkel whirled around and ran in a crazy looping path back toward Asgard. "Murderer! Murderer!"**

**Knowing that she could never run fast or far enough to escape this monstrous scene, Hela Half-Rotted scrubbed at the blood that covered her, sat down on the ground next to the fresh corpse, and began to cry.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Condemned**

**By the time Otkel made it to the golden streets of Asgard proper, he was exhausted but still hysterical. He stood outside Odin's palace shrieking his tale to anyone who would listen. Within a heartbeat, a crowd had gathered. **

**Loki sat in his hall some distance away, brow furrowed and heart troubled. This whole mess with his children had proved quite embarrassing; his double life with the Jotun woman Angurboda had been an unwelcome surprise to his wife Sigyn. That had involved some of his best sweet-talking ever, but Sigyn had not made it easy for him.**

**Now one of his sons was consigned to the sea, locked into his shifted snake shape forever. It did not bode well for Fenrir, either. He now roamed Asgard, similarly locked permanently into his lupine form by the will of the Allfather, getting larger and more enraged by the day. Hela had proved to be the most troublesome of all because she had proved an affront to the eyes of every man, woman and child in Asgard. It was hard to miss a girl entirely covered by clothing clomping down the streets. Loki was not used to caring for a girl, let alone one as troubled and disabled as his.**

**There was a sudden pounding on the door of the great hall. He waved to the servant. Within seconds, the man raced back to his master.**

"**Lord Loki, it seems that your daughter has killed someone. Lord Thor urges you to come immediately."**

**Loki felt his heart skip a beat, then give a large delayed thud in his narrow chest. What madness was this? What disgrace had that girl heaped upon him now? Loki raced out the doors and joined Thor, and both gods pounded up the street towards the forest. Thor's stepson Ullr, nearly in tears, raced right after them.**

**They were joined by a throng of people who had heard the terrible news. The dead child was Gunnar, and his parents headed the pack. **

_**Daughter what have you done? **_

**When the crowd reached the little clearing in the forest, they immediately surrounded the body of the dead boy. His father shook it, shrieking in anger and grief. Gunnar's mother immediately fell upon Hela, punching her furiously until Loki dragged her off.**

**It was a mad scene. Hnossa stood screaming and wringing her hands. Gunnar's parents clutched their dead son, keening. Hela had tried to crawl into the bushes to escape whatever miserable fate awaited her; one of the men in the mob scruffed her and pulled her back out into the open. Loki saw this and went wild, pounding at the man's back and then grabbing his daughter by her bony shoulders. He saw her torn and disheveled clothing, smeared with blood and mud, and immediately thought the worst. **

"**Get away! Get back!" the trickster god screamed. He gazed at her blank face and the look in her eyes terrified him. Ullr tried to grasp her hand but Loki reflexively shoved him away.**

**Hela had gone to some quiet place in her brain, a place in the Iron Wood of Jotunheim where she and her mother sat eating blackberries in the summertime. She dimly recalled Loki wrapping her in his green cloak and carrying her back to Odin's hall. **

**Within minutes of the crowd's return to the king's palace, Odin had ordered everyone out except for Gunnar's parents, several of the major gods and goddesses, and Loki. Hela had been placed in an adjacent room with several servants as guards.**

"**Your daughter is dangerous. Her powers have grown since she came here," Odin said to Loki. "The Norns have already prophesied that she will stand against us at Ragnarok, the last great battle."**

"**Don't speak to me of Ragnarok, Allfather," Loki retorted. "What I want to talk about is what was done to her. She is the daughter of a god of Asgard and an assault upon her has been ignored and dismissed! What else is a young girl to think when two boys have her on the ground? What is she supposed to do? This is an outrage!"**

"**You will pay me recompense for the loss of my son, King of Evil," Gunnar's father shouted. "His death is the outrage! How dare you!"**

"**No one is dismissing the attack on your daughter, Loki," Thor replied. "What we object to is that it was punished with murder. And murder without weapons of any kind. That is either witchcraft or some unnatural power no god in Asgard possesses."**

"**Shut your head, Thor," Loki snapped. "Of course she has powers. She is my daughter. She need not explain herself."**

"**In spite of your feelings, Loki, you know that we cannot ignore the fact that she killed another child, however inadvertently. She can no longer stay here," Odin said. "I have decided to send her to rule Niflheim. You know this was coming. If I had done it weeks ago instead of listening to your fatherly entreaties, Gunnar would still be alive."**

**For a few moments there was silence, save the weeping of Gunnar's mother.**

**Loki stood, running his fingers through his black hair. "Allfather," he said. "Please listen to me. Hela is only a child herself. She did not mean to kill the boy. Terrible things could happen to her in the land of the dead. There is no one there to raise her; to care for her. Let her stay with me. I'll keep her inside and her powers in check. She'll be all right."**

"**More lies from a liar," Freyja sniffed. "She does not belong here among us. She never did. Just look at her. She's not even human."**

"**Of course she is, Freyja," said Frigga, Odin's wife, "but I fear the rest is true. Why keep her in a place where she will be isolated from all other beings? Let her try a new realm and see how she does."**

"**Are you playing the fool, Frigga?" Loki shouted. "One she goes to Niflheim, I very much doubt if she will be back." He approached Odin's throne. "Please, Allfather," he pleaded. "Let her stay with me. Forgive her and spare her."**

**Odin stood. "No. My word is final. Thor and Tyr, tomorrow you will take Hela Lokisdottir to Niflheim. It is a nine-day journey so provision yourselves well."**

**Loki screamed in outrage. "You will regret this, Allfather!" he cried as he stormed out of the great hall.**

"**I already do," the old man said to himself. Although he wouldn't have admitted it to anyone under pain of torture, Odin was now in great fear of little Hela Half-Rotted.**

**Hela spent her last night in Asgard weeping in her father's arms. **

**Loki had tended her bruises and Sif had surreptitiously brought a meal over to both of them. Ullr stood by his mother, white-faced and sad at the fate of his friend. They both stayed a while, then left the little family to their preparations.**

**Hela was in a very bad state and the evening was full of bitter regret. She was sorry that she was ugly; sorry that she killed Gunnar; and sorry that she had been born. She dreaded the journey and was terrified of being placed in the land of the dead. She pictured monsters and devils and hideous spirits laying in wait there for her, ready to tear her apart at their leisure. What made her sorrier is that she had been cast on the mercy of Allfather Odin and even he had rejected her. **

**Her father said little as he held her through those long hours until daylight. He wrestled silently with his own powerlessness and that he could not even save one of his own from a dismal fate. He doubted if he would ever see his daughter again. He only hoped, silently to himself, that Hela's mother Angurboda would quickly seek her out once she arrived, as it had been true that Angurboda was dead.**

**The whole affair with Angurboda had been a mistake, he mused. The children had been a mistake. Now Angurboda was no more and their children scattered, their futures ruined. Just more wrong choices in a lifetime of wrong choices.**

"**I'm so sorry, my little one," he sighed, smoothing his daughter's hair.**

"**Father, will I ever see you again?"**

"**Of course you will. You will see me often, if I can get past that hellhound Garm who keeps the living from entering Niflheim. As queen, one command from you will allow me entrance, I'm sure."**

"**What is it like there?"**

"**No living person knows. Once you enter the gates, you never return to tell the living. You will, of course, although I cannot say how Allfather Odin will feel about it."**

"**How much do you hate me?"**

**Loki sighed. "I don't hate you at all, Hela. I love you and always will. And members of our family do have a tendency to get into scrapes, don't they?"**

"**This isn't a scrape, Father," the crying girl rejoined. "I am being condemned to the land of the dead for something I didn't mean to do."**

**Loki paused, shifting uncomfortably. "It isn't that the boy died, my child. It is how he died. No one in the Nine Worlds can kill by mere touch, yet you did it today. That sort of power – well, makes people uneasy, and the gods terrified. I think Odin wants you put away somewhere where he doesn't have to worry about you."**

"**But I don't know how to rule a kingdom!"**

"**I do. And I suspect with your cleverness you'll figure it out soon enough even without me."**

"**I'm only twelve!"**

"**I will be glad to help you. You won't be alone. I won't abandon you, I promise."**

**Hela sighed. She knew Loki was the Father of Lies, but wished she could better tell which of his comforting promises were falsehoods.**

**When the sun made its way over the horizon, Loki and Hela walked hand-in-hand to Thruthvanger. Trembling with anxiety, Ullr had come out of the house first and walked over to them, pressing a packet into Hela's good hand.**

"**For you," he whispered.**

"**Don't forget me," Hela responded, her voice shaking.**

**The boy disengaged when he saw his stepfather and uncle approach. Without so much as another word, Hela was placed in Thor's goat-drawn chariot. She watched Loki say something to Thor; the latter grumbled and shook his head.**

**Hela Half-Rotted unwrapped the packet and found a collection of sweet cakes to ease her journey to the land of the dead.**

**She began to cry in earnest, then.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: EXILED**

**The daughter of Loki lay curled into a ball, covered with Tyr's spare cloak, in the back of Thor's chariot.**

"**You must get out of the chariot!" Thor cried, annoyed. "We are at the entrance to Niflheim and can go no further."**

"**What makes you think they will let me in?" Hela shrieked back. She knew that her behavior was unacceptable but if girl ever had the right to throw a tantrum before being cast into the land of the dead, she certainly did. "I'm not dead!"**

**Thor huffed. "Look. I'm aware that my stepson is fond of you, and of course your father and I are related by blood-oath. But I don't trust him and I don't trust you either, frankly. Allfather Odin must have seen something in you that caused him to send you here. And who's to say you're not able to go through the gates of Niflheim?"**

**Hela shrieked in outrage, shooting out of the chariot and pummeling the big man with her fists. "Don't you dare say that I'm dead! And how dare you insult my father? The reason I'm here is because your stupid father is afraid of mine and wants to split up his family so we can't plot against him! Any fool can see that!"**

**With a sigh, Thor gently grasped the girl's bony wrists in his large hands. "That's enough. We've done our job and now you must do yours. I don't intend to argue with a little girl." Hela responded by kicking him in the shin.**

**Tyr laid his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Why don't you take a rest? Let me talk to her. Take a breath, Thor." Tyr looked about anxiously; the land of the dead was no place for the gods of Asgard. It gave him the shudders and he just wanted to deliver this pathetic child to her destination and get back over the Rainbow Bridge as fast as he possibly could.**

**By this time Hela was sitting cross-legged on the ground, again weeping in despair. Tyr squatted down low and reached out to lift her pointed little chin.**

"**Now look, Hela, your father agreed to this and wants you to give it your very best."**

**She shot him a look that would have frozen the fire lakes in Muspellheim. "I didn't agree to this. I don't want to be the death goddess. I want to go back to the Iron Wood in Jotunheim and back to my mother and if you had any sense at all you would turn this chariot and these stupid goats back around and take me there."**

"**Not going to happen, young one," Thor replied above her. He reached down and hooked his hands under her arms and pulled her back to her unsteady feet. "Allfather Odin spoke with the Norns and all agreed that you would rule Niflheim as queen of the dead."**

"**No," Hela moaned, swatting his hands away.**

"**What if I was to decide I didn't want to be the god of war any longer?" Tyr asked her in a kindly voice. "If I went off to tend sheep or whatnot, who would defend Asgard during times of attack?"**

"**And I can't turn around and decide I want to lie in the clouds like Njord or sit in a castle like some lord of Midgard," Thor added. "We all have our jobs to do and this one is yours, young lady. As young as you are, you are still of the House of Loki and must carry out your destiny."**

**At this, the frightened girl whirled around and did her best to run away. Sighing, Thor reached out and grabbed the edge of her cloak.**

"**I'm afraid you can't escape this, Hela," Thor told her as gently as he could, releasing her. "This is where we leave you. Be a credit to your father and try to do your best. I'm sorry we couldn't do more for you."**

**Hela began to cry once again and Tyr had the kindness to kneel down and hug the child. "We will give your love to your family for you when we return to Asgard," he told her. **

**At this her sobs became screams. _"Please don't leave me! I don't know anyone here! Everything here is dead and ugly and I'm afraid! Don't leave me please!"_**

**Thor shook his head as Tyr pried her arms from around his back. Without another word, he pushed Hela past the gate's guardian, over the threshold, and into the land of the dead. Within seconds a dense cloud of twisted mist, shimmering with unearthly points of light, descended upon the girl. **

**She began to scream.**

**As the screams continued, rising and falling in pitch in reflection of the horror of she who screamed, the two mighty warriors of Valhalla realized they could no longer bear it. "How could Allfather send a child to such a terrible end?" Tyr hissed, his voice breaking.**

**Thor was in the chariot in a flash, readying it for a quick escape. "Even if she was half-dead before, she has surely perished now." Tyr leapt in behind him; Thor snapped his whip over the goats' heads.**

**The chariot spun around, nearly upending. As it pounded full-speed up the road leading to the other Eight Worlds, Thor and Tyr took an oath that no matter what Loki the mischief-god did to them in the future, they would never tell him what had happened to his child.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - Transfigured**

** Long after the two gods had fled, Hela continued to shriek until her throat hurt and her arms were sore from clawing the mist that crowded her. She thought her heart would give out from sheer terror. Her panicked and labored breathing worsened as her throat tightened. The wisps that made up the cloud were opaque as lamb's wool, and after a few moments more of flailing and crying out she realized that they were as soft as lamb's wool as well. A shock of understanding suddenly tore through her exhausted body.**

_**They were singing.**_

**They were singing to her; circling her in what scraps were left of their precious life forces.**

**She tilted back her head and listened.**

"_**I am Raghild; I died of pneumonia when I was still in the cradle - "**_

"_**I am Audgisil; executed for cowardice by - "**_

"_**Help me - "**_

"_**Feed me - "**_

"_**Lovely little girl - "**_

"_**Guide me - "**_

_**A spirit lovingly caressed the left side of her face. "Beautiful," it sang.**_

"_**Help us - "**_

"_**I am Ingibjorg, who died in my sleep in my 78th winter - "**_

"_**We welcome you - "**_

"_**I am Thrand and I want to play in the grass - "**_

"_**Welcome - "**_

"_**My mother pushed me into our hearth fire - I am Ulfeid."**_

"_**Hold me - "**_

"_**Someone has finally come for us - "**_

"_**I want to see my husband again - "**_

"_**Welcome - "**_

"_**We love you - "**_

"_**Little daughter of Loki - "**_

"_**Welcome - "**_

"_**Love - you - "**_

**She began to answer them with her thoughts, the left side of her body singing along with theirs as like met like. **

_**I will feed you I will show you the way to your mother your son your husband your grandfather I will shelter you from evil and want and fear I will do that for you and more oh yes I will I promise **_

**Hela sighed as she relaxed into the cloud of spirits and they held her; levitated her above the cold ground so that the toes of her small shoes merely brushed the earth; whispered love in her ears again and again and again.**

"**Well, then; let's get started, shall we?" a low masculine voice said, causing Hela to start nearly out of her skin. Instantly, the spirits fled, leaving the girl to fall to the ground with a jarring thump.**

**Dizzy now and confused once again, she looked up to see a man standing before her - a man bearing a scythe in his right hand. He was hideously gaunt; his cheekbones were as curved and pronounced as his scythe. His face was long and his eyes were fathomless. Short black hair clung to his skull. He wore a black robe and a silver ring with a white stone. **

**He extended his long thin hand and helped her to her feet. Hela nodded, knowing full well who he was. **

"**Kneel and kiss My ring, Hela Lokisdottir," the being intoned.**

**She did so, then gazed at him steadily, not having any idea what to expect.**

"**I have many agents such as you in many pantheons," Death said. "A death angel here, a death god or goddess there. It matters not to Me. Your job will be to guard the souls that come to you and to judge the good or evil in their hearts."**

"**How can I see it? I am just a child," Hela asked.**

**Death held out his thumb and pressed it against her forehead. A bolt of pure energy shot through her, causing her knees to buckle. Frantically looking down, she thought she saw something like trails of mist coming from under her fingernails. They rose and curled before her eyes. Her heart and body and soul subtly rearranged themselves in some immutable and incomprehensible way. From that moment on, she knew she would never be the same.**

"**You will simply know. No one will cheat you, because no one cheats Me. No one will thwart you, so long as you carry out My will. Death is final; no one can wish or pray or will it away. It is the way of things. You will resist offers of bargain and preserve the natural order at all cost. Also, you will govern matters here in this realm. Decide who goes where, and whatnot. I care not for such trifles. Build yourself a home. Decorate it if you like. Populate it with whatever creatures amuse you. But do not forget for one second what you are. Others will try to use you. I am particularly concerned about your father - some sort of trickster god in this realm, is he?"**

**Hela Half-Rotted nodded. **

"**Trickster gods are always troublesome. However, he is of no consequence to Me. But he is of great consequence to you. You must guard against his manipulations, and the wiles of any man or god who will try to bend your powers to his will. Do you understand?**

"**Yes," the girl replied.**

"**Your appearance goes very nicely with the job. I think a little fear helps impress newcomers with the gravity of their situations."**

**Hela shrugged. "I am ugly and weak and malformed."**

"**Very well, then, girl. Here," Death said, touching her forehead with his thumb once again. "I can see that your insides are a bit twisted. You should be able to breathe better now." The being shook his head in amazement. "Such a sparse and bony little thing; why the leader of your gods chose you to represent Me is beyond my comprehension."**

**Hela looked down to see that she stood a little straighter and felt stronger than she ever had. It felt good and she whispered her thanks to Death. "Can you fix my face, sir?" she added quietly, knowing in advance what the answer would be.**

"**Your face suits you. I'm certain you now realize that you were born to this. It will be a relief for you not to have to pretend to be like everyone else any longer."**

**The girl sighed deeply and absorbed his words. They were true and she supposed she had always known it. A moment passed between them. "How do I collect the souls?" **

"**You don't. The so-called Aesir have their Valkyries. You have these." He waved his hand and beings slowly rose from the ground; creatures without discernible faces and limbs; creatures that were as amorphous as smoke. Within a few seconds they solidified into living shapes dressed in black. Some were male, some were female. Their eyes were black and their faces were utterly without expression.**

**There were thousands of them. Hela resisted the urge to shriek.**

"**You can go reaping yourself, of course, but most in your position tire of it quickly. These servants will reap the souls for you," Death continued, his voice a trifle less intimidating. "They know My commands. All you need do is to welcome their charges as they come into your realm. They will go back out and continue to reap. That is what they do; they have no other reason to exist. They have been doing it since the beginning of time."**

**The girl nodded.**

"**Occasionally, a soul will come to you on its own. Don't concern yourself unduly. Sometimes fate drives them along their own paths."**

**Death looked at the child's puzzled face and sighed. **

"**Some die and know it not. They linger for ages in the homes they once inhabited or cling to members of their own families, who will just waste away and die like all mortals. But time passes and houses and the bones of their beloveds crumble into powder; it is then that fate propels them on their paths to you."**

"**How many shall I expect?" Hela asked.**

"**The ones you receive in this realm are those who believe in your gods and goddesses, or are part of that society. There are many others who serve Me - Hades, Yama, Anubis, Yeng-Wang-Yeh - their names escape me for the nonce. You are yet another servant of mine among their ranks. They reap the souls of their believers; you will reap yours. And that is the way of death in this sphere, Hela Lokisdottir. Do you swear to serve Me and to carry out these tasks under penalty of a most unpleasant afterlife for yourself?" **

**At this moment Hela had her first fully-formed adult thought. She knew for a certainty that she was caught as firmly and as fatally as an animal in a trap. **

"**I do, Lord Death," she replied, resigned. **

**The being nodded, then dissolved away to become part of the heavy mists of Niflheim. The reapers glided away, toward the entrance to the realm of death. Nothing remained but utter silence.**

**Hela simply stood there, overwhelmed, until she fell to her knees and began to sob.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: CORONATED**

**For a while, the daughter of Loki lay on the cold ground, able to move but unwilling to expend the energy to do so. She missed her mother and her father and her brothers and her home with a longing so sharp that it physically pained her. **

**She cried for a long while, first out of shock and fear but then of confusion and panic. Where would she go? What would she do? Thor and Tyr were long gone; those men had their fill of her presence enough for a lifetime, she thought. **

_**I'm all alone and have no one and I just had my twelfth birthday last winter.**_

**Occasionally, spirits wound their slow way past her, some of them curling themselves around her thin arms and legs, or caressing her face. They were too cowed by the recent presence of Death to sing. She moaned and batted them away. As desperately as she hungered for comfort, she did not want their comfort. She wanted her father's strong arm about her, or a kiss and a cuddle from her mother. Bereft, Hela curled into a knot and continued to cry. **

**A hand touched her from behind, and she shot up shrieking.**

**Before her was the shade of a young woman - one long dead, Hela guessed - who held out a thin gold crown in one hand and smoothed her hair with the other. Hela jumped back, away from the dead woman's touch.**

"**Please don't fear me, young lady; I am Modgud who guards the gate for you."**

**Hela stared at her.**

"**You were too busy crying and fighting with those who brought you here to notice, but I have sat for ages before the entrance to the land of the dead, refusing entrance to those whose bodies draw breath and whose veins pump blood."**

**Hela sighed and her shoulders slumped. "I am sorry for being so rude. It has been a terrible day and I am not myself."**

**Modgud smiled and deftly stepped forward, placing the crown on the girl's brow. "There. Now you are our queen, and I will take you to your home."**

"**I am the queen?"**

"**Yes. You are our queen. Allfather Odin has proclaimed it."**

"**I have a home?"**

"**You have always had a home here, like you have always been here," Modgud answered. **

"**I'm afraid you've lost me," the girl said. "I don't understand you."**

"**It doesn't matter. Come with me and we shall get some food and drink into you. I hope you don't mind the cold; it never warms up in Niflheim."**

**Over the weeks and months that followed, Hela learned that what Modgud had told her was true; the sun did n0t shine in Niflheim. She sorely missed the warmth of the sun on her skin. Because she was so thin, she was usually cold and it seemed that in this new realm she truly was unable to warm up. **

**She also missed seeing the stars. When she was a little girl, she and her mother would look at the great constellations and dream about what lay in the heavens so far over their heads. Now, when she looked up she only saw the underside of the realms that lay above her.**

**Her mother had indeed come to Niflheim, but she had not remembered her daughter. The shock of losing her children had been too great and Angurboda's mind had anesthetized itself, merciful for her but heartbreaking for Hela. Resigned, Hela placed Angurboda in some pleasant place and just let her be. **

**One grim day bled into the other. Night after night the new queen lay in her cold bed, praying that her father would come to rescue her. Of course, she had neither seen him nor heard from him since her exile to the land of the dead.**

**_Another of Loki's lies,_ she thought.**

**Hela had stopped concealing her left side, learning that the dead found her bizarre appearance a comfort as it more closely matched theirs both before and after their deaths. She now understood exactly what Death had meant when he said that her face suited her. It certainly befitted a death goddess, and that was exactly what she had become. She had also stopped crying so much because there was no one to commiserate with her. Modgud was a servant, not a friend. She sorely missed Ullr and wished him well every day with all her heart.**

**Ruling the land of the dead was not difficult. While the victorious warriors went to Valhalla, Hela's reapers brought her the common folk; mothers and children, deathbed warriors, the elderly, and those whose life threads the Norns had cruelly cut short. **

**Hela used her youthful imagination to create places they would like and formed them right out of the mist that made up her realm by sheer force of will. There was a vast meadow for the children, with sheep to hug and butterflies to chase and strawberries to eat. These little souls would never grow up and Hela wanted them to be happy. Mothers who died in childbirth and otherwise were destined to care for them, to ease their hearts as well as the children's. The elderly were placed in a warm room with a roaring hearth where they could recount their stories to one another for all eternity if they wished. The men were put to work at their chosen tasks, if it would please them, which helped put her new realm to rights. They would soon build her a fine castle, Elvidnir, destined to become the showpiece of her new city of Helheim.**

**Hela's duties over those who spent their dissolute lives in evil tasks were far more difficult. She was not a cruel girl and did not enjoy giving pain to others. However, it was as much her job as making the righteous happy, so she performed it without complaint or hesitation.**

**The location she conjured for the evil ones she named Nastrond, or the shore of corpses. There, murderers and rapists and thieves and other criminals were continuously gnawed by Nidhoggr, a great and louring serpent. While Hela spent a good deal of her time touring her vast realm, she rarely visited Nastrond.**

**Eventually, her father came to visit her. Mindful of Lord Death's warnings, Hela kept a close watch on him and his attempted manipulations. Loki, too, resented the gods of Asgard. After all, he and his daughter were Jotuns, not Aesir. Blood called to blood and Loki's ties to the frost giants strengthened over the decades as his loyalty to the Aesir became more attenuated.**

**Hela's appearance and health remained the same. She had tried numerous enchantments to improve them but her nature was immutable and unchanging. She still limped, and exhaustion still plagued her. Yet Death had strengthened her, augmenting her own powers with his own. She had the ability to kill with mere touch if she wished, but did not enjoy killing things. **

**Hela did not have mirrors in Elvidnir, nor reflective surfaces of any kind. Even as she grew into womanhood, she was still that twelve-year-old girl at heart who hated her appearance and wished with all her heart that she could be beautiful like the ladies of Asgard.**

**As the years passed, Hela became more astute and more resolute, accepting her fate while resenting it. She spent many hours in her loneliness weaving elaborate revenge fantasies upon those who had tormented her in Asgard. She was a goddess and the daughter of a god, yet no one from Odin's realm communicated with her in any way.**

**Until the day Hugin, the raven Hela had left with Allfather Odin, flew to Helheim and delivered the message that she would be receiving a godly visitor.**

**Ullr.**

**Of course, Loki wasted no time traveling the nine days to Niflheim to elaborate upon this news personally.**

"**Seems that Thor's stepson Ullr has gotten himself into a bit of trouble," the trickster-god crowed, eating his meal with great relish. Hela did not have much to offer as crops did not grow in Niflheim, but she tried her best and managed to set a good table. "Allfather went into one of his hibernations and Ullr took the throne. Well, you can imagine Odin's reaction. As punishment, he ordered Ullr to your kingdom."**

**Hela sniffed. "Lovely," she commented. "Odin is always so charitable."**

**Loki looked at his daughter's strange face. "Yet, the idea pleases you, does it not?"  
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**The death goddess shot him a look. "I haven't seen Ullr since I was a child. I know nothing about him. Why do you ask?"**

**Loki grinned, knowing he had hit a sensitive spot in his daughter's heart. "He is god of winter and the hunt. One of those types who enjoy tromping around in snowdrifts shooting buck and carving snow caves. Quite the charmer, in fact. Handsome. It should please you to look upon someone who isn't a wraith."**

**Embarrassed by her own feelings, Hela said nothing and avoided eye contact with Loki. "Why must you chafe and vex me? Why don't you go back to Asgard?"**

**Loki laughed. "Go ahead and enjoy yourself in this stinking wasteland, daughter, by yourself and consumed with resentment. I will be leaving soon. By the way, how would you feel if I arranged for another of Asgard's finest to join you in your kingdom, to lighten your heart and relieve your solitude?"  
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**Hela's eyes widened. "What are you prattling about, old man? Who are you going to kill?"**

**Loki grinned. "Baldur the beautiful," he replied.**

**Hela's jaw dropped. "You are insane, Father. It will bring on Ragnarok!"**

**Loki smirked. "What do you care about the end of the world? Your world ended when Odin sent you here. You might as well enjoy the ride while you can. Baldur is the god of beauty and spring and he annoys me to no end. All that radiance. All that joy. It curdles my blood."**

"**Father, don't do it. The gods tolerate you, but if you engineer Baldur's death there will be no end to your punishment. They may even kill you."**

**Loki grinned once more. "Then I can come to Helheim and annoy you for eternity. Don't worry, child. It is just a thought in my head at present. In the meantime, enjoy Ullr's company and dream of what you could have had if those damned Aesir hadn't tossed you into the land of death." He stood up abruptly. "Well, I am off. Pleasant dreams accompany your sleep."**

"**Idiot," Hela murmured as the trickster god strode out of her hall.**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8: BELOVED**

**Ullr had entered Elvidnir in a whirlwind of healthy enthusiasm, the power of his life force shaking Hela to her very soul.**

**Well over six feet tall, the well-muscled Ullr had long sandy hair and a beard that tended to get a bit unruly when he was by himself in the wilds of Midgard in the dead of winter. In fact, he had trimmed it for the occasion, hoping for an eventual kiss from the friend he had never forgotten. **

"**Hela!" he had shouted, swooping low in a bow. "I am so happy to see you!"**

**The death goddess had been temporarily struck dumb. She had grown unused to speaking louder than a whisper, to moving at any pace other than her usual slow hobble, to hoping for anything other than dank and darkness. Ullr's evident joy at seeing her had been like a plunge into freezing water. Within moments, she had regained her composure and had extended her good hand.**

"**Welcome to my kingdom, Ullr," she had said with as much dignity as she could muster. She had actually smiled for the first time in ages, her face stretching in an unfamiliar way.**

**He had strode forward, had mounted the steps to her throne, and had seized her hand with hearty good humor. When he had kissed it, poor Hela had nearly fainted. It had been so long since a living human had touched her. The power of his life force shot through her like an arrow, dissolving her gloom and bathing her in its reflected heat.**

**The winter god had arrived in her dismal world in a great explosion of joy and life.**

**Ullr had not seemed to mind Hela's appearance, much to her surprise.**

"**It's sort of a relief not to see you swathed in blankets any more," Ullr had told Hela while taking a walk in her herb gardens one afternoon. "I wondered why you didn't drop of heat exhaustion, wandering around Asgard like that in the dead of summer. It does my heart good to see you coming into your own and not caring so much what people think of you."**

"**There is no one around here to care," she remarked. "How are things in Asgard?"**

"**Much the same as when you left. Mother is fine. Stepfather Thor is out slaying frost giants as we speak. Freyja is her usual snotty self. Iduna hands out her golden apples and keeps everyone young. Odin is adamantine; doesn't seem to appreciate my sense of humor, it seems. Your father is a trial, of course. He grows a bit more erratic each day, if you don't mind my saying so."**

"**I don't mind at all," the death goddess replied with a shrug. "He pays me no more mind than he did when I was a child. If it wasn't for your mother and the Valkyries, I think I would have starved to death in Asgard."**

**Ullr smiled. "Well, you are doing well enough, it seems."**

"**Things are seldom what they seem," she replied solemnly. "I die a little more each day. I long for sunshine and cannot have it. I yearn for the moon and the stars and growing flowers and sunrises and sunsets and cannot have them, either. I pray every night that I will not survive to see the next day."**

**Ullr sighed. "Not good, Hela. I am sorry for your trouble."**

"**My life consists of welcoming and assigning the dead to their new destinies. I don't like consigning the evil to punishment, but enjoy the children and babies, as sad as that may sound to you. It is quite a responsibility, feeding and sheltering thousands and thousands of souls, going back generations. It sometimes makes my head spin."**

"**You're such a caretaker. Sounds like you need someone to take care of you."**

**His words pierced her heart, her loneliness suddenly overwhelming her. She hung her head so that her long hair covered the left half of her face.**

"**There is no one," she whispered.**

"**There is now," he said solemnly, taking her in his strong arms. Without another word, he kissed her.**

**The rest was predictable. **

**Hela's frosty mien melted like warm butter on a hot fire. Ullr was quite happy, willing, and able to do what he could to assuage her loneliness. The two exiles spent every moment of every day with each other and the queen of the dead thought she herself would die of happiness. **

**Ullr even managed to convince Hela to leave her kingdom for a little while and he took her to Midgard's Arctic Circle to take in the sights. They lay in their warm winter furs on the icecaps and watched the aurora borealis flicker in the night sky. They spent their nights in Ullr's well-built snow caves, delighting in each other's warmth and love. He told her tales of his exploits that sent the frail woman into gales of laughter. They hiked (albeit slowly) over the glaciers bathed in the light of the midnight sun, and Ullr taught Hela how to draw a bow. He had even gotten her drunk on mead a few times, and had laughed heartily at her ensuing giggle-fits. It tore at her heart to have to return to her kingdom.**

"**If we don't, Allfather Odin will have our heads," she joked.**

**In truth, word of their affair had already reached Asgard. The roots of the great world-tree Yggdrasil extended under Helheim, and running up and down its trunk was the troublesome squirrel Ratotoskr.**

"**Our queen is neglecting her duties," the little rodent chattered to the eagle that lived on the branches of Yggdrasil that were warmed by the sun. "The dead have lined up in front of Elvidnir, waiting for reception and assignment. Bad little Hela Half-Rotted is too much in love with her winter god to care. Niflheim is going to rack and ruin. Shocking, shocking! Too bad, so sad!"**

**It wasn't long that Allfather Odin heard from the eagle of Yggdrasil. **

"**Damn that boy," he cried to Frigga and Loki during a quiet dinner at his palace. "Fooling around when he should learn some humility. All he cares about is snowshoeing and wooing the women. Useless!"**

**Loki's eyes grew large. "What do you mean 'fooling around'? In Helheim? There's nothing to do there!"**

"**That's what you think, foolish father," Odin replied, rather happy for once to get one over on the trickster. "Your daughter is starry-eyed, abandoning her kingdom and shirking her duties."**

"**Hela?" Loki shrieked. "My Hela?"**

"**Indeed. All is love and laughter with those two. They are practically joined at the hip, and it really needs to be brought under control. I've a mind to bringing Ullr back just to spite him. Maybe I'll send him to Muspellheim to sweat it out in Surt's court."**

**For once, Loki the silver-tongued was speechless.**

**Ullr and Hela had returned to Elvidnir and she had hastily disposed of the administrative backlog there. There had been a massive earthquake in Iceland and a number of failed Viking raids in Europe, so she was busy. Not that she cared these days. Ullr sat nearby at a respectful distance, watching her carry out the tasks of state. He cared neither for her power nor her duties. Ullr was simply satisfied to bask in the death goddess's adoration and enjoy the good things that came with it. Why suffer in exile when one can enjoy life in exile, even in the land of the dead?**

**The last decedent consigned to Nastrond, Hela stood up and stretched. Ullr came up and massaged her stiff shoulders, mindful of the pain on her left side from which she chronically suffered. **

"**Thank you," she murmured.**

"**My pleasure, ma'am," he returned. He wrapped his arms around her slim waist and held her in a long hug.**

"**Hello, Ullr," Loki proclaimed, striding down the hall toward the pair. "How's the wife?"**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9 - BEREFT**

**Hela sighed in exasperation. "How should he know how Skadi is, Father? She's in Asgard, and Ullr is here. With me," she added pointedly.**

**Ullr ran his hands through his hair. "Greetings, Bringer of Discord," he said to Loki. "And what brings you here this fine day?"**

"**Well, I bring you tales of Asgard, God of Snow. Rumor has it that Skadi has burned your belongings in the city square."**

**Uller's jaw dropped open. "What?" he sputtered. **

**For Skadi was Ullr's wife, goddess of winter and the hunt, and a giantess at that. She had disposed of her first husband Njord by **

**divorce, and it now appeared that getting rid of another might be in her future. Or would it?**

"**Actually, I'm joking," Loki chuckled, sitting down and putting his feet up on a nearby ottoman. "She didn't burn anything because she doesn't know anything. I, of course, could enlighten her upon my return to Asgard but suspect you would want to personally fill her in on how you've been fooling around with my daughter."**

**Hela strode over to him, knocking his feet off the ottoman with a well-placed kick. "It's none of your business, Father. All you do is meddle and pick! Leave Ullr alone, and leave me alone. Get out of here."**

"**Is that a royal command, my disobedient child? Just like Odin's command that you cool your heels here in this dank pit for the rest of your unhappy days instead of gallivanting around the land of Man with your – " Loki's nose wrinkled with distaste - " - boyfriend?"**

"**Don't forget that you are one of the biggest philanderers in the Nine Worlds, Father," Hela hissed. "It makes my head hurt to think of how many unknown brothers and sisters I have drifting around Jotunheim and Midgard." **

"**Despite the pot calling the kettle black, I have news for the both of you," said Loki in his most annoying tone. "Ullr, your exile in this dark realm is at an end. Allfather Odin has forgiven you and wants you to come back – home," he added, archly. **

**Neither Ullr nor Hela said a word. Inside, the queen of death felt her fragile heart shatter. **

**For the first time in her life she fainted, and fell to the floor of her luxurious palace. **

**Hela's hatred of Odin increase a thousandfold after Ullr packed his meager belongings and headed through Modgud's gate back to the land of those who draw air. **

**Their parting was heartbreaking. Hela thought she would die. Ullr swore he would return to her once he told Skadi. **

**Did he mean it? Hela didn't know. She hoped so, but was used to being lied to by the men in her life. Namely, her father. She had been so enraged by his cowardly treachery that she had bounced a vase off his horned helmet with every ounce of strength in her thin body. She dreamt about killing him slowly enough for her to enjoy it. This was unlike her, and troubled her heart. Not that she had much heart left to trouble.**

**The joy had left her life, and she felt a great deal like the depressed and deformed child who arrived in Niflheim years ago. **

**Funny, how a little happiness could fool a woman into thinking she was alive, and vibrant, and worthy of love. Hela felt the pain of separation from Ullr as sharply as an addict suffers from withdrawal. Ullr was her kind connection to the world and was the only soul she would ever trust. She cried and cried until her eyes were swollen shut.**

**She sat on her throne as she usually did, listless and disinterested. Her old depression settled on her like a suffocating layer of fog. She ate so little her servants were afraid that she would starve to death. She slept even less, lying awake hugging the bedclothing which still smelled like Ullr. She wondered what he was doing, thinking, saying. And what of Skadi?**

**Hela did not know the winter goddess, as she had arrived in Asgard after her exile. Skadi's father Thiassi the giant had been slain by the Aesir and she traveled to Asgard demanding recompense. Instead, the hardy woman was given her choice of husbands, but was only allowed to look at their feet. She wanted Baldur; she ended up instead with tired old Njord. It wasn't long before she got rid of him and landed Ullr instead.**

**Imagine that stupid woman, forswearing her vengeance for a man!**

**Hela couldn't help but smile at her own hypocrisy as she was entirely willing to toss away everything she owned, everything she commanded, and all of her powers in exchange for the love of her winter god. **

**She sat on her throne day after day in a trance almost like sleep, dreaming of living with Ullr in Asgard. Such thoughts were not healthy for her because she knew full well that a death goddess was not meant to dream; not meant to be happy; not meant to love anyone.**

**Ultimately, Hela stopped getting out of bed. **

**Once again, Ratatoskr sent chattering word to the daylight world about Niflheim's grinding halt. **

**Once again Loki was sent down to the land of the dead at Odin's behest to set things right.**

"**Arise and greet the day, daughter mine!" Loki sang as he entered her chambers, stripping the blanket from her thin frame.**

"**If you were close enough to touch, I would strike you dead, Trickster," she answered, her mouth full of pillow and refusing to move. She shrieked as he grabbed her ankles and dragged her out of bed. She hit the floor rather hard. **

"**Get out of here! Leave me alone!" Hela shrieked.**

"**Not until you get up and have me fed," Loki replied, helping her up and covering her shoulders with the upended blanket as she was beginning to shiver. "I have news, my dear. Now, won't you see me to the dining hall?"**

**Once the trickster had devoured more than his share of meat and bread, he looked up at Hela's face.**

"**You look terrible."**

"**And I love you too, Father. It's such a pleasure to watch you gobble like a boar in a cornfield. What do you want?"**

"**Two things," Loki said, sitting up smartly and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "First, it seems that Ullr has come to some sort of arrangement with both Odin and Skadi. Since the Midgardians in Greenland were complaining about their land freezing over, Odin has decided to have Ullr spend the time from the spring to the autumnal equinox down here in Niflheim."  
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**Hela's goblet clanged to the floor. **

"**Oh dear," Loki remarked, dabbing at his clothing. "You've gotten my cloak wet." Within seconds, his daughter was in his arms, weeping so hard with joy that within moments his shoulder was just as saturated as his cloak. He blinked hard, remembering how she had cried in his arms before she was consigned to this gloomy place.**

"**There, there," Loki said, rubbing her on the back. "You really should eat something," he added, straightening her up. "I can feel every bone in your spine. Anyway, I don't know how long it will last, but he will be here within the month. I think Skadi is a fool but then again I always did."**

**It took Hela several moments to catch her breath and regain her composure. "She never cared much for you either, from what I hear," she responded, wiping her streaming eyes. **

**Loki laughed out loud. "You should have heard the names she called you, my dear! She said she wished she had you up in Asgard so she could snap your skinny arms and tear out the rest of your hair."**

**Hela frowned, troubled by Skadi's reference to her unpleasant appearance. "If she tried, I would strike her dead."**

"**But then she'd be down here to bother you both."**

"**Not if I sent her to Nastrond," Hela replied, every inch the icy queen of death, even sitting in her nightgown.**

"**You make me shudder, girl," Loki said. "Well. So much for your love life. I have more news yet. I have designs on Baldur. He is Allfather Odin's favorite and I'm sure his death would cut the old man to the quick. Now, here is where you come in, child – "**

**Both put their heads together as Hela listened to her father's plot. Odin had done nothing but harm her ever since he became aware of her existence. He had destroyed her life. He had even taken her Ullr away.**

**He would pay. Yes indeed. Odin and his son Baldur the Beautiful would pay.**

**Hela Half-Rotted didn't care. At least she would have Ullr with her once again. **


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10: DANGEROUS**

**Loki put his plot against Baldur on hold for a while as he found larger concerns looming in Asgard. He was becoming too bitter, too conspicuous. Hela was not disappointed; although she wanted to punish Odin, once she thought it through she became keenly aware that Ullr was Baldur's nephew. She hated Asgard but loved one of its residents. It was very confusing, and she resolved not to think about it too much.**

**For the next ten years the winter god spent half his year in Asgard and the other half in Niflheim, and the people of Midgard attributed the change in seasons to his comings and goings. As angry as she was, Skadi would not give him up. Neither would Hela. Since neither stubborn Jotun woman would yield, Ullr declared that he loved them both and left it at that.**

**While Hela was content to wait for Ullr, Loki was not as patient as the years passed. The gods of Asgard were becoming ever more suspicious of him as his allegiances shifted increasingly toward Jotunheim. He decided to go ahead with his plan to send Baldur the Beautiful to his death and did not tell his daughter. Let her find out with the rest of them, he thought.**

**During the next few weeks, the king of tricksters threw the world of the Norse deities into utter turmoil.**

**Baldur began to have dreadful dreams about impending death, which frightened him enough to tell his mother Frigga. She, in turn, had every object living or dead in the Nine Worlds promise not to hurt Baldur. Frigga made one omission, however - the innocent mistletoe that twined itself around the trees in the forest outside Asgard, the same forest where Hela had suffered at the hands of Gunnar so long ago.**

**What did the stupid fools do, Loki thought, but tempt fate by using Baldur as a targeting board in Asgard, launching projectiles against him in sport? Of course the trickster had learned about the mistletoe, given Baldur's blind brother Hodur a dart made from it, and watched Baldur fall dead.**

**There was the predictable huge to-do over Baldur's death, of course. Loki expected no less. Frankly, he had always found Baldur rather tiresome. Nanna, who used to sneer at his daughter's deformities when she was a child, added her bit of drama to the funeral by dropping dead herself.**

**Stunned by this turn of events, Ullr made his way from Asgard to Niflheim immediately to see what he could do. When he arrived, Baldur and Nanna were already in residence in Elvidnir.**

**-**

**When he greeted Hela, the winter god saw fear in her eyes and knew immediately that these dark events were the cause of it. When he asked her how she was, she shook her head, her lower lip trembling.**

**"What happened?" Ullr asked her once he had settled in. "All of Asgard suspects Loki was behind this. Has your father brought Ragnarok upon us? Don't tell me you had anything to do with my uncle's death!"**

**"My father had told me that he wished Baldur dead, but that was years ago and I thought he had put such thoughts aside. Besides, Baldur's death was foretold by the Norns. It doesn't matter whether my father caused it or the dwarves in Swartheim caused it. Since you left me last, I have not been well. The pain in my bones makes it nearly impossible to walk and I can't keep food down. This discussion upsets me." She felt sick to her stomach, and for no other reason than because she was trying to protect Loki from Ullr and Ullr from Loki.**

**The snow god sighed at her attempt to change the subject. "Hela, my love, Ragnarok has been foretold as surely as Baldur's death. We are both supposed to die in that fight. Aren't you sorry about that?"**

**"If the prophecy holds, at least we'll die happy," she responded. "We'll die together, even though we are supposed to face one another as enemies. There is no way I will let that happen, I assure you. Besides, I don't believe in prophecies." She sat down with a sigh. "I love you with all my heart, Ullr, but don't ask me to love your Odin or your Asgard. The old man destroyed my family and trapped me in a life I never wanted for no other reason than he feared my father and my powers."**

**Ullr only blinked at this declaration. He was, in fact, naïve in the ways of politics. He loved snow, wintertime, hunting, and having a good time and cared nothing about the affairs of state. He now thought it best to drop the subject of Odin before Hela became really upset. When she was, as he had witnessed numerous times himself, the rivers of Helheim boiled and the skies rained fire and venom upon Nastrond.**

**Hela hobbled around the vast room, her brow furrowed and her outlook darkened. "Let Odin weep, Ullr. In fact, let the entire world weep. My porters tell me that even now Hermod approaches from Asgard to ask me for the return of Baldur's soul. If Allfather Odin loves tears so dearly, let everything in the Nine Worlds cry for his son. If one thing refuses, Baldur stays where he is."**

**"That's rather tricky, though, isn't it?" Ullr ventured.**

**"I don't care whether Baldur remains here in Niflheim. You bring the sunlight into my world, not him. The only thing that I want is for Odin to suffer. You have seen for yourself how I suffered in Asgard; how I suffer here. "**

**Ullr raked his hand through his hair. "Yes, of course I have. There's no denying that."**

**"Well, then," Hela firmly concluded. "There it is, my precious hunter. Now you know my feelings." She then swept from the room to ensure that her banquet hall was being properly prepared.**

**At the moment, all Ullr wanted to do was to dine and drink with Baldur and Nanna, his arm around Hela, with a cup of mead in his fist. Maybe a few jokes would make everyone feel better.**

**Or maybe not.**

**Really, he told himself, what else did one expect when one allied himself with Loki's daughter? How else would it feel, other than to stand betwixt Asgard and Niflheim? Betwixt the Aesir and the Jotuns? Hela and Skadi? Ugliness and beauty? Life and death? It made his head spin. Ullr undoubtedly enjoyed this precarious balancing act, venturing as he did from the land of the gods to the land of the dead at his leisure. If anyone else tried it they would be ripped to shreds by Garm. He was drawn to Hela's darkness as surely as a moth to flame, and there was no reason to deny it. Skadi could hunt and fish with the best of them, but cause the heavens to rain fire?**

**No. Not even on her best day.**

**"What is it about these Jotun women?" the stepson of Thor sighed to himself as he went in to dinner.**

**-**

**The next day brought the predicted visit from Hermod and Hela told him exactly what she said she would. Some weeks later she learned that Thok - an old Jotun woman - refused to weep for Baldur.**

**Hela suspected the true identity of this Thok but kept her counsel. It had been Loki, of course. It was just a matter of time before Allfather Odin, heartbroken by the loss of his son and the coming of the end times, discovered it and took appropriate steps.**

**-**

**Because Baldur remained in Niflheim, spring vanished and the eternal Fimbul-winter soon fell upon the Nine Worlds. The snow became so deep that even Ullr stayed with Hela past the fall equinox. The Black Death swept across Midgard and Elvidnir was crammed with legions of the dead. Hela's reapers paced in and out, in and out of Helheim with their endless stream of human cargo.**

**One day some time later Ullr found Hela seated on her throne in tears.**

**"My father has been punished by the Aesir to avenge Baldur," she sobbed. "They tied him to rocks and a snake drops venom on his face day and night!" The winter god comforted her the best he could. "His wife Sigyn tries to catch the venom in a cup, but when she turns to dump it out it falls on his face and his writhing churns the very rocks of Midgard! And do you know who it was who placed the snake above his head? Your precious Skadi!"**

**Ullr sat down heavily, his face in his hands.**

**"So she has gotten her revenge upon me," Hela cried, "through my father. I would rather she expose me to the eyes of the Aesir in all my ugliness and then break all my bones with the blunt edge of her sword than have him tortured like this! Is there no end to the suffering of my family? Ullr! Help me!"**

**Ullr held the death goddess as she wept, realizing in his gentle heart that that was all he could possibly do.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Redeemed**

**Everyone who has ever read the Norse myths know that Ragnarok, the great twilight of the gods, came and went. Yet, neither of the Eddas or any of the written myths mention the deaths of Hela or Ullr.**

**The mighty ship Naglfari – created from the fingernails of the dead over the centuries - creaked and rocked forward, weighted down by the armies of Niflheim. Loki captained; Hela kept a careful watch. She was apprehensive because Ragnarok took place during late winter and Ullr had been in Asgard.**

**She was so overwhelmed by the sights and sounds of the last great battle that she was utterly without words. The dead were streaming out of Helheim. Her reapers dissolved into mist, overwhelmed by the ceaseless slaughter before them. Surt and his fire warriors were approaching from the South, shields blazing brighter than a thousand suns. The Jotuns and Aesir were already locked in bitter combat. The churning of her shape-shifter brother Jormundgand had triggered the tsunami that kept her great ship afloat. It was a terrible sight.**

**Terrible for the warriors who were now wrangling with might and main, but even more terrible for those who had no means of defense. Hela knew that her armies wouldn't last long and that the world would be utterly destroyed by fire and water. She also knew that she was not a warrior, and neither was Ullr. **

"**Beware, Hela!" her father – recently liberated from his prison of poison and rocks – shouted over the din, steering the groaning ship over to an embayment. "Command your troops to disembark on those rocks and cut off the army of the Aesir yonder!"**

**Would Hela stand by to order her dead warriors to shatter their bones against bronze swords and shields and watch her father get his head split open by Heimdall? Especially when she saw her winter god approaching from her right?**

"**Ullr!" she screamed at the top of her voice. Loki immediately saw what was going to happen and grabbed her sleeve. She ripped it out of his hand and went over the side onto the rocks, where she broke her left ankle. Ullr screamed, running for her. Hela dragged herself up, using the rocks for purchase, and reached for him.**

**A soldier of Asgard was hot behind her with battle axe raised high.**

**Ullr turned and shoved away one of the three Jotun warriors who closed in on him. One swung his sword in a great arc over his head, ready to separate the winter god's head from his shoulders in a single blow.**

**Hela recited one of the incantations her mother had taught her long ago. It was the most ancient magic yet practiced in the Nine Worlds and the most powerful she knew. **

**She strained forward and threw the tip of her cloak across Ullr's right shoulder in that fraction of a second before the blows fell upon both of them.**

**They promptly vanished. The Jotun and Asgardian warriors fell forward, slaying one another in the next moment.**

**Everyone knows what happened next. Thor and Jormungand killed one another. Fenrir killed Odin and Vidar killed Fenrir. Loki and Heimdall slaughtered each other. On and on it went until the deadly butcher's bill reached its uppermost limits. **

**The great bloody explosion of death and gore raged. Gods died; giants died; Surt set the world aflame; it was the End of Ends.**

**The battle of battles went on, but it went on without Hela Half-Rotted and Ullr the winter god.**

**The handsome older couple sitting outside the Hotel Ranga in South Iceland looked at one another fondly. Both had brilliant silver-white hair and were elegantly dressed in the fashions of nowadays. Glacier goggles protected their eyes in the brilliant sun.**

**They continued to watch the eruption of Volcano Eyjafjallajökull with obvious delight, sipping their crystal glasses of vodka. With the exception of a solitary waiter, they were alone. **

**She wore a black turtleneck and black stretch pants. Silver fur-trimmed boots and an iridescent black parka thrown casually over her shoulders completed the outfit. Her long hair was elegantly arranged with a smooth fall of silvery locks over the left half of her smiling face. **

**He was a big man - obviously once an athlete - with longish hair and a full beard and mustache wearing a plaid shirt and a pair of blue jeans. An L.L. Bean parka in royal blue kept him warm against the steady winds blowing against his back. **

**Not that he - nor she, for that matter - would have been bothered by the cold. Once upon a time, he had been the god of winter; she the goddess of the underworld. **

**Since the advent of Christianity to Scandinavia some time ago, there was little need for their services these days. An occasional pagan would find his or her solitary way to Niflheim. Breckenridge, Colorado held an annual ski festival in honor of Ullr, the patron god of skiing and snowfall. **

**For it was Ullr who sat there sipping Absolut in the late afternoon sun and Hela Half-Rotted who watched the roiling pyroclastic flow coursing down the distant volcanic mountain. **

**Shortly before Ragnarok, Skadi had finally given up on her errant husband and had departed Asgard in a huff for greener pastures in Jotunheim. Consequently, Hela and Ullr had been constant companions for the last thousand years.**

"**Imagine those fools in the comic books," Hela mused. "Having me mooning after your stepfather Thor." He chuckled, and she cast a sidelong glance at him. "It was you. Always you."**

**A strong young woman crossed the field in front of them, her long golden hair in twin pleats bouncing off her back. **

"**I believe she is one of our descendants," Ullr commented, taking another sip of his drink. "I lost track shortly after the Battle of the Boyne. The curve of her jaw is exactly like yours."**

**Hela waved at the young woman, who returned the gesture and continued snowshoeing her way across the expanse. **

**There was a rumble as the volcano released another pyroclastic flow. "How long will it go?" Hela asked.**

"**Ask Surt. He runs this neck of the woods."**

**Hela smiled at his reference to the king of Muspellheim, land of fire. "He was so good to tell us that the volcanic island of Surtsey was about to be created back in 1963. It was heaven hovering there, watching it splatter and hiss its way out of the ocean. I love Iceland." **

**The waiter busied himself around them, and asked if there would be anything else.**

"**No," Ullr replied with a casual wave of his hand. "We're going to be leaving momentarily."**

**Hela looked at him quizzically.**

"**Care to go to Greenland and watch the glaciers melt?" Ullr inquired.**

"**Global warming," the queen of the underworld mused. "So many years, so many climate changes. Those of ours who colonized it and then left when it froze over should have waited a millennium or so."**

"**I love you better than Iceland, my dearest heart."**

"**And I you."**

**Care to see the ash clouds?"**

**Hela nodded, and whispered under her breath.**

**The waiter approaching them shrieked loudly when their two crystal glasses fell to the ground. The handsome couple holding them had disappeared before his eyes even before his startled supervisor could open the hotel door.**

**In the distance - heading toward the Volcano Eyjafjallajökull - two ravens swooped and darted and then rejoined the other, steadily making their way due north. **

**THE END**


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